"How much can I get for this game?"

A three year old baseball game?

"one year."

It's Triple Play 98.  I have 2001's in stock.

"Oh.  How much?  And cash, not credit."

About $4.

"what?  But it's sealed!  And I paid $70 for it last week!"

Then you got ripped off.  2001's are $49.  Want one?  

"How about $30?"

How about I can buy those for less than $10 each, including shipping.  Not withstanding that it will
never sell.  People don't want 3 year old baseball games unless they are exceptionally cheap.

"How about $20?"

I see... So when I said I can get them for less than $10, why would I possibly pay you more than that
for your copy?

"You're a rip-off!"

That's right.  I'm a rip-off.  As compared to the hypothetical establishment you purchased that game
for last week for $70.  But if it makes you feel better, the door is to your left and you watch the
sun set slowy in the distance as you leave, and perhaps that will help calm your soul and bring you
inner happiness.  Have a good day.
 

This is one of the happiest moments of my life...  Tropical storm seven should become a hurricane in
about 24 hours.  And if it does, it will become Hurricane Gordon!

And it's smack in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.  It isn't going to miss the US mainland.  And
it's a slow mover.  It should be huge!  And do mass damage when it hits.  

We're not talking Florida here where they can handle it, but Texes to New Orleans!  Oh ya!  

"and the Gord said 'go forth and lay carnage in my name....'"

It happened around 3 am... 

Voyager sucked, and I told Lawrence I'd play StarCraft with him when he got back, so I laid back on
the couch and promptly fell asleep.

BAM BAM BAM

That's odd.  Sounds like the neighbors are moving stuff.  Pretty loud.

BAM BAM BAM

If I didn't know better, that sounds like it's coming from the dance hall.  What would they be moving
at 3am?

BAM BAM BAM

You know, that sounds like it's coming from right inside.  What they hell are they moving

BAM BAM BAM CRASH TINKLE

Crash tinkle?  I shouldn't be able to hear a crash tinkle through the wall...  oh wait... 

And into action I sprung!

And in my tired and sudden awakeness state, I reasoned it must be Brendan looking through his stuff
in the complete darkness...  Nor withstanding he doesn't have a key or any way to get in.

"That better be you Brendan!"

And boom!  They paniced and ran.

Desparate times required desparate measures.

Royal Bank:  $15K to match your 15k?  Yep, we can do that.  Just take a couple days to set everything
up.  Come back on Thursday (abridged version of course).

Thursday..

What?  You've gone and spent your $15K and are already running?  Well, now you're an existing
business and we can't finance you until you have been in business for 2 years. 

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

My god!  I had a child prodigy in to the store!

talk talk talk and a half to a couple people I know.. Child walks up to me (about age 10, maybe 11?).

Me: "Yes small child, how may I be of assisance?" (in a friendly tone, not condensending in the
slightest).

SC: "I am not small, I am merely short as would be expected for a person of my limited years.  In
fact, I am considered above average in height for my age.  And I was wondering if you had a copy of
Final Fantasy 9 available for rental?" (in a friendly tone)

This child is going to go far in life!
 

Argh!   Dealing with idiots.  

I sold a kid a Sega Genesis two weeks back for $15.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

Now over the last few days, he keeps coming back and bringing back different parts of it.  First,
it's the machine that doesn't work. Then it's the controller.  Then the power supply.  Now it's the
RF. 

"I find it suspect that everything I've sold you has somehow broke..."

He started to cry.  Some people shouldn't let their kids out.
 

"Excuse me.  What's this copy of Final Fantasy 9 worth?"

(The game in in rental cases, stickers peeled off from Microplay, no box, just the CD's.)

Uhm...  Not much.  Being I don't really sell PlayStation games without their boxes.

"How about $30?"

How about $5.

"$5 per disc?"

No.

"I think I'll take my business elsewhere."

YOu do that.

Someone was in the store telling me about that on Wednesday.  Only, I dismissed him as an idiot as he
was going on about how he took six broken PS1's and made three workings ones with them... THen went
on to try and rent a machine.

"If you've got 3 working ones, why do you want to rent one?":

"Uhm...  ya... So I want to program, and I've got four programs I'm working on right now, so I need
forth machine.  Because you see, to program a PS1, you need to leave it hooked up to the computer the
whole time you're writing the one game."

I'm sorry.  It's time for you to go. 

Then he brings his dad in to sign up an account, and then it's "Why do I need ID or a deposit to rent
a machine?" and "$5 to rent a machine?  You can buy them for $140!"

You just know they're related.
 

"I'd like to return this game please.  It doesn't work."  (Rental copy of WWF Smackdown).

Sorry about that.  Here, I'll replace it with my back-up copy.  (I had a copy traded in without a
case that had almost a mark on it that I kept as a spare as people who rent wrestling games tend to
get them all dirty).

...Person leaves... comes back 1 minute later.

"My dad says the game is too dirty and to get our money back."

Let's see that CD again.  (hold it up).  Uhm... ya.  Not seeing where there is a problem  The CD is
damn near brand new.  It's been rened all of once before.

"I want my money back."

You get one free exchange on a weekly rental.  Perhaps you may wish to try a different game out, and
then remember that for next time.
 

The setting... The shopkeeper (me) is on hold on the phone while three kids walk in.  They see an
open PlayStation on the counter, so they walk over to see it.  Then, the obvious intellectual of the
group starts in...

"You see, being that I've taken apart and fixed a couple PlayStations, I can tell you what's wrong
with this unit.  First up, the power switch is missing... and blah blah blah blah."

Actually, the only thing wrong with that Playstation is that I haven't put the lid back on it.  It's
all fixed and ready to go.

"Uhm..."
 

Yesterday I had one guy bitch because it only took me 5 minutes to replace a defective controller
port on his PSX.  

"Will you take $10?"

Uhm.  No.  It's $20.  We discussed this before I even started.

"But if only took you five minutes!"

Yes.  It was simply a controller port replacement.

"I'm not paying $20 for five minutes work!"

Then I'll take it out and put back in the broken one.

"No!  Wait!  What's it cost to buy the part by itself?"

They're $20.  Installation is free.

"That's a fucking ripoff!"

Oh, ok.  I'll just put in the old part then.  Then your PlayStation will be just as useless as you.

"Fine!  I'll pay the $20!"

$22.80 sir.  There's tax.

"Fucking tax.  Twenty fucking dollars for 5 minutes work."

Sir, that was $20 for a replacement part with free installation.  Here's your unit, here's your
change, and have a nice day.

Well, I know after that, I'm going to have my bowler hat, 
trench coat, black gloves and cool cane.  I'll never
have to work again, as venture capitalists will look at 
me and go "That man has style.  Let's give him money."

Yay.. WOn $200 at Blackjack last night...  I made a little 
pyramid out of my chips and pretended it was a
campfire while clasping my hands around it for warmth...

"Feel the heat, baby!  Feel the heat!  We're going home 
when this become a bon fire!"

New project.  I'm hanging up a sign similiar to "Now serving #" 
or "# of accident free days", and it will have
a spot where I hang numbers.

Only, it will say "# of days where management hasn't had to 
deal with an idiot."

And when I have to deal with an idiot, I'll sigh, reach over, 
and take down all the numbers leaving a "0".

And if I'm lucky, the person who is the idiot will be so 
offended they will never return...

There is one child (age 15) walking around the store.  I 
refuse to talk to him, the back lights are off, the TV
is off, and I'm listening to music on my headphones so 
that he can't share in my happiness.

He stayed here and walked around for an hour and a half.

Seems one of the police officers that tried to give me 
the shakedown a while back about the Colour GameBoy
incident ("his mother says you threatened him and 
forced him to sell you the Gameboy, yada yada yada")...

(dramatic pause)

has been arrested for fraud!  Yay!  Down with the man!

"Do we need ID to be able to rent?"

Yes.  Yes you do.

"Why?"

You don't get out much, do you?

"Can I use my library card?"
 
No.

"Do you have any used PlayStations for sale?"

Nope.

"Do you have any PlayStations for sale that are used?"

Nope.  You just asked that question.

"You don't understand.  I want to buy a used PlayStation."

I don't understand?

"Did you get my strategy guide in for Donkey Kong Country 64 in yet?"

What strategy guide?

"The one I ordered."

You never ordered one.

"Yes I did."

No, no you didn't.  We discussed the availability of getting them, I gave you a short list of what I could
order in and what the costs were, and you told me you were going to decide later and call me back.

"So why didn't you order them in?  You knew I was going to get one."

A thousand pardons.  I should have known what you wanted before you did.  Would you like me to order one in
now?

"Well, I don't know.  I'll call you later when I get home."

I've been here before...  and I don't like this circle.

"You talked to my roommate about him trading in a Genesis and some games for a N64."

Ok.

"YOu know who I am talking about?"

Can't say I do.  I talk to a lot of people.

"Anyway, here is the stuff."



"We're trading straight across for an N64, right?"

No, but it is worth $22 credit towards an N64.

"You told my roommate you would trade straight across!"

Uhm...  I would sell this game package for $40, and used N64's are $75.  Assuming I gave you in trade what I would sell
the stuff for, I'd be out $35.

"So?"

So you've got $22 credit if you want to trade those in.

"And the N64 comes with 2 controllers, right?"

No, it comes with one.

"You said it came with two!"

I sell used systems in the same package they come with as new.  Namely, a controller, A/V, and the system itself.

"And a game?"

No game.

"You told my roommate you would trade this straight across my Genesis and five games for an N64, two controllers, and a
game."

It would appear your roommate was confused.

"Hello Gord, your time as come."

Oh really?  It's go time!

And thus began our hand to hand combat encounter.  Death is a dirty fighter.  In the end, he sprayed a magic
pixie dust over me when he was losing, and disappeared out the door.

Since then, I've been ill.  But getting better.

You'd think a person wanting to trade in a Saturn with 12 games would have at least ONE good game that wasn't
free with the system.  But alas, not the person who just came in.

"There games cost $60 each at one point."

I can  tell by your selection you shopped at Walmart  when they were blowing out all the crap games at $5 each.

"No I didn't."

Look.  The receipt five of them is in the case right here.  $4.99 each new.

"So you won't pay cash for any games?"

No...  I said I'll pay cash for either good recent games or rare games.  These are neither recent nor rare.
I've got at least one of each in the back.

"But the Saturn was good!"

Yes, I would concur.  However, you have no good games.  Quite frankly sir, you've got a stack of games that
will be here until the day I burn the store enters the long night.

"I though the games were good."

Your opinion was in error.

Or then you get calls like this I just had...

RING

Gamer's Edge

"Yes...  I ordered a game from you to be delivered COD, and you told me $35, and it came to $45.50!"

Ma'am.  The game is $35.  PST and GST are $4.90, bringing the total to $39.90.

"But it came to more than that!  And you never told me about tax!"

Uhm... ok.  ANyway, Shipping was $1.50, and the COD charge is $5.

"You told me $35!"

Ma'am.  I sold you a $35 game and you expected the extra charges because you requested it COD.  And everyone
pays tax.  There were no hidden surprises.

I was doing a quick audit of my rental games today and I noticed I have an extra disc 3 to a FF8.

According to the copy # on the CD, it belongs to a set that was stolen last summer.  Seems the person who stole
that copy of FF8 only got CD 1,2, and 4.  

Now I just feel good.  He ruined my day, and I ruined his.  :)

Tonight at the casino I was told "I think you're loud and offensive!"

Well, come to think of it, I think of myself as loud and offensive too!

"You better not come sit at my table ever again!  So you better move!"

Technically, I was here first, being I got here at 7 and you showed up a half hour ago. 

"Be careful what you say and think."

Want to know what I'm thinking?  I'm thinking shut the hell up!

"Oh!  You want to go outside?"

Are you asking me on a date?  I know you've been hitting on the dealer all night.  When I grow up, 
I pray I don't end up like you.

Then the dealer called the pit boss over as buddy was getting pretty pissed.  

"Excuse me...  I'm trying to play the machine here, and I've hit reset 3 times, but it's not working."

That would be because there is nothing in the machine.

"Why not?"

Because I'm leaving it alone for now.

"But I want to play!"

That's nice.  Do you even have an account here?

"No..  But I'll be renting something one day."

Then one day I'll let you play on the bigscreen for free.

I don't know of any 30 year old virgins living with their parents, but I had a customer 
come into my store today who was age 23-25 looking for N64 games. 

"Gosh, you have a lot of PlayStation games. Too bad I only have a N64." 

"Perhaps you should grab a PlayStation. They're pretty cheap these days, 
and come free in specially marked boxes of cereal, too." 

"I would, but my parents won't let me have one." 

Whoa. Some people's children... 

Damn it.  Day ruined.  Just had to deal with an idiot over a stack of SNES games.

"I'll give $40 for all these games."

Sir, one of those games alone if priced at $40.  The stack is priced at... (count)...  $178.

"Make me a deal."

Why?

"Because they are old games."

True, but you've chosen the rare and good ones.  If you want a deal, might I suggest you take 
a look the ones that are priced less?

"I don't want those!"

That's why they are $5 to $10 each.  They aren't as sought after.  

"Fine!  Be that way.  Can I rent them?"

Sure.  Fine.  I don't care.

"I'll take these four, and pay for them in the first week in May."

That's not how I thought renting worked.  Namely, you pay a price per day per game.  I was 
thinking a $1 per day, or $5 for a week.

"I want to buy them, but I'll pay for them next month."

Very well.  I'll hold them for you.

"You don't understand, I want the games now!  I want to play them!"  (now he's getting 
pretty angry).

Uh-huh...  Then buy them now, or pay now to rent them.  It's how things are done.

Then he storms out and hits the door on the way out.

Today I had a guy in who was pissed I wouldn't give him cash for his N64.

"Why the hell not!"

Because I already have five used ones.  And it's now a dead console.  No one cares.  
I'm not paying cash for a dead console.

"Look, all I want is $100."

It sells new for $100!

"I know, that's what I paid for it."

Buying a console is not a hedge against inflation, it's a toy.  Toys don't appreciate 
in value.

"$100 and it's yours."

That's ok.

"Fine!  I'll take it elsewhere!"

You do that.

Followed five minutes later by a guy who was pissed I wouldn't trade Wayne Gretzky 
Hockey straight across for Perfect Dark...  

"They're both N64 games!"

And that would make me a library that gives away new books straight across for crap 
old ones.

Or yesterday...

*Ring*

Gamer's Edge

"Yes, what would you give me for a copy of Madden 2001 for the PS2?"

$25 in credit.

"I talked to some other game stores, and they said they would give me $65 to $70."

Then I suggest you take it to them.  I find giving more for a used game than what it 
sells for new to be a very poor business decision.

[long pause]

"Uhm...  how about $50?"

No, no, no.  I insist you take your game to one of those fine stores that undoubtedly 
seeks your business much more than I do, as they are willing to take such a loss for 
your benefit.  Have a good day.  [click]

Why do people lie just to get more for their games?