I'm Retarded Too!
Customer brings in PlayStation
with a non-responsive controller port. A simple fuse
re-soldering job. A quick pop the top off, and boom, it's
Next day, the mother of the customer comes in to pick up the
machine and to pay for it.
Normally it's a $20 bill for fixing the machines. Gord is
just about to inform her of that after he explains what he
"That machine has a mod chip in it! If you touched that chip,
then you'll have to replace it! I'm going to check! If it's
gone, we won't be able to play our games and you'll have to
pay for all of them!"
Whoa. Angry white trash mode. And why would Gord have to pay
to replace their stolen games with new ones? Three guesses at
which of these two failed law class?
"Ma'am, I only removed the cover. To do that, I would have
to remove the entire motherboard."
"I'm going to check."
"You do that. The bill will be $40."
One reaps what one sows.
Retarded People Look Smart!
"Yes, I'm following up on a former employee of yours who
applied for a job with our company. A Kevin Stevens."
"A who to the what now?"
"A former employee, Kevin Stevens."
"I'm afraid no one even close to that name has worked
"Perhaps he worked there before you?"
"Ma'am, I would be the owner and founder of this
"Well, he also goes by the name Kevin Krabbendam."
"I don't recognize that name either. Hang on, I'll check
"Well, Kevin has an account here. He rented two games in
March of 1999 and stole them. He was forwarded to collections
on April 14, 1999."
"He put on his resume he worked for you."
"I would theorize that he did that because he is an idiot."
Wish I Was Smart!
"What's it take to rent a
"A drivers license and a credit card."
"If I don't have that?"
"A drivers license, a Social Insurance card, and a $300
"And the machine includes a game with it?"
"Yes, you get one free game with it."
"How about I just take the machine with no game, and then I
don't have to leave a deposit?"
"So you are of the belief that I'm worried so much about a
game, that I'm taking a $300 deposit on a $60 game, and $0
deposit on a $500 system…"
"Well, I don't have $300."
"Then you won't be renting."
Customer looks at game box for
"Is this a Super Nintendo game?"
"Yes, that would be why the box says 'Super Nintendo' on
the front in large lettering."
"Why do you only give $35
for a Nintendo 64 in trade?"
"Why would I give more than $35 for a system that is
discontinued and no one really wants, has crap controllers,
and a serious dearth of good games that I would only add to
the growing stack in the back of the store? Oh my, I just
answered your question with a question of a rhetorical
"Why can't I trade straight across for a PlayStation?"
"Because I like staying in business."
Up To Speed
"Do you have any 'Breath of Fire
"Yes, they are $39 each brand new."
"What about Breath of Fire 2?"
"Those are used for $60 each."
"Why do they cost more? I really want one, and charging more
for them is not fair!"
"Why am I charging more for an older SNES game that is
incredibly rare and people want, as compared to the
PlayStation game I can still order new? Hmm…"
He came down the next day to buy the game (well, he thought I
would trade it straight across for two old sports games,
fucking retard.) But sadly, the game was sold. Apparently,
it's my fault here because if it was cheaper, he would have
been down sooner to buy it.
Notwithstanding, if it was cheaper, it would have sold