And Gord said to the sidekick
"Go forth and create this symbol for me and place it in the
And after the sidekick toiled for five hours, the project was
complete. A rather large Decepticon symbol was complete and
in the window.
The Gord added a sign under it that said "We welcome the
And the next day an individual entered the store and asked the
sidekick what the slogan meant.
The sidekick points to the giant symbol.
A few seconds later the person gets all offended, storms
around the store, and then finally leaves.
Again, some people's children… Oh wait, he wasn't a child.
He was a bum on welfare who was about 25.
Update: The sign has been changed to "We are here to
protect YOU!" So far no one has been offended.
So at the store, the Gord has an
eight port hub set up and extra LAN cables so that his friends
can bring their computers down (portable or not) and plug into
his computer network for playing games, cruising the web,
whatever. It's just LAN craziness action.
One day, this guy who had been in the store all of once before
shows up and starts bringing in his computer.
"What are you doing?"
"Hooking my computer up to the network."
"Who are you, and why are you doing that?"
"I heard that you can play on the internet for free here if
you bring your computer down."
"Technically, that policy is only for friends of mine."
"The internet here is reserved for my friends. You are not
part of that group. As such, you're not invited."
"Oh. Well, you don't treat your customers very good."
"You're not a customer."
So the Gord puts up a sign over
his used games available for sale that reads "Recycled Fun!"
"Do you have any used games for sale."
The Gord points to the games by the door.
"I said used, not recycled."
"Those are the used games."
"No they aren't! The sign clearly says they are recycled. I
don't want a game that was recycled, I want a used one."
Oh, how the lower intellects
believe they know more
than the Gord. In the store there is a rather large
projection TV, and these enlightened individuals warn
the Gord about how he is going to be cast down into the
depths of hell for playing games on it.
Normally a quick "well, it was a problem back when TV's
were new and all we had to play was Pong" or "only if
you own an RCA, which are half the price for a reason"
will bring an end to the issue.
But once this particularly annoying person wouldn't shut up
about the forthcoming damnation the Gord was to experience.
"Oh god! Nooooooo!" screamed the Gord
as he grabbed the fire extinguisher and hopped the counter.
He then books it to the back and unplugs the TV from the
then dives behind a couch and waits for a second to see if there was an
"Well, that was close! I've been running that TV for 3
years without a problem. Had you not walked in and warned
me about the dangers of projection screen TV's, I surely
would have been killed in the explosion that was about to
"I'm only acting retarded, what's your excuse?"
queried the Gord.
The young advice columnist left.
Correct Answer Is Thursday
"Here's your Dreamcast
"Very well then. You want to pay for the extra day
charges now or next time you rent?"
"Why do I owe for extra days?"
"Well, it was due back on Sunday."
"But you closed early on Sunday! I phoned!"
"I do close at 7 instead of 8, but that doesn't change
the return time of being before close."
"I phoned at 7:30, but there was no answer."
"Again, I close at 7 on Sundays instead of 8. As well,
why are we even having this conversation? It's now
Thursday. Perhaps had you come in first thing Monday
morning, I would be prepared to waive the extra day
"You were closed early on Sunday!"
"Dude, look. It's now Thursday!"
Guy rents a game. Guy steals
game. Guy has $58 credit on file. Game costs $14.90 to
replace. Gord calls it a fair trade.